How to Handle Uncertainty in Life

Life is uncertain, that is the one thing we can count on. We may not like it but it’s a reality, even if we are killing ourselves trying to control everything possible. I was a self-proclaimed control freak and am now a recovering control freak. I personally understand the feelings that the word “uncertainty” triggers. This is why I’m going to give you some tools to learn how to handle uncertainty in life.

For years I fed into the mindset that I needed to plan everything, and think about every possible risk or outcome that might happen. After all, that was part of my job when I was designing processes and managing projects as an Industrial Engineer. Did I take these actions too far into my personal life, or had I started conditioning myself to be this way in my childhood?

I’m still working on this deep mindset journey but I do know one mind-blowing fact…

It’s possible to transform your mindset so that you can expand your thoughts and manage how you feel about the uncertainty in life. Before I give you some tips for learning how to handle uncertainty in life, the first step is trying to see how many areas we are nurturing our intolerance to uncertainty.

How To Know You Have Uncertainty Issues

There are many ways people like us show intolerance to uncertainty and the kicker is as we move along our journey in life the intolerance to uncertainty grows and expands into multiple areas of our life. It’s like a bad weed, once you nurture one it grows into another area of your life.

Here are a few possible reactions you might have when you are showing signs of intolerance to uncertainty:

Do you worry about health, finances, or family?
Are you constantly moving and have difficulty relaxing?
Is the schedule your friend, even in your downtime? In other words, do you find yourself overplanning everything?
If things don’t go as planned (yes, even leaving the house on time), do you get overly upset?
How much do you like to change? Are you becoming more and more inflexible to a change in plan as you get older?
Does it feel like your world is collapsing when something goes wrong?
Do you find yourself checking things multiple times “just to make sure” (locked doors, keys in the pocket, stove turned off, lights off…)?
Do you constantly need to call a friend or a mentor to “bounce ideas” before making a decision?
When you are in a social setting and your opinion is asked, do you have trouble expressing them unless you are 100% certain? Maybe you need to ask that friend first before you share those opinions…
How controlling are you about things around the home? Does everything need to go as planned, be done a certain way or done on schedule for life to feel in control?

I know what you must be thinking because this is what I thought when I dug into this very topic. Here are just a few of my personal bullsh$t excuses that delayed my own personal growth, because that is exactly what they were and I’ll explain why in a bit.

It’s natural for me to feel this way, after all, I’m a mother.

Shouldn’t all parents worry about their family?

If I plan out the vacations then the kids won’t be as bored.

My life is on my phone; mainly because we have a scheduling app (our digital lifesaver) that has all of our life events on it (this is a huge one for me and one I still say often…).

I’m an [insert career title], it’s my job to plan for the unexpected.

I have this idea that I want to try, let me call [my boss, my husband, a close friend, any considered expert] just in case they think the idea is stupid.

I’m an introvert so making conversation with people isn’t natural.

Why can’t the family get that we have a schedule to keep? Is it so hard to be ready to leave when we need to leave?

I’m a queen of multitasking and proud of it.

Who has time to sit at night?

If I don’t do it, it either won’t get done or it won’t get done right.

*BOOM*

Do any of these relate to you? Even if just a couple of these examples have resonated with you it will be enough to constantly feed a cycle of worry, fear, and anxiety. These habits will affect your health, both your mental and physical health. Oh and don’t get me started on how it will affect your career and relationships. Can you say needy, lack of confidence, controlling, difficult, obsessive…hello life goal barriers!

This is where you can start to shift your mindset and change how you react to situations.

Shifting the Mindset to Handle Uncertainty

I have a saying that I repeat to all of my Seeking Simple Life VIPs and clients: You are Enough and Your Mindset Matters. Both are true every day. When we dig into why we are feeling a certain way, often it relates to not being enough. The truth though is that we are enough just as we are so why do we feel the need to control every outcome?

When you identified the issues and your natural reactions towards them those were huge steps towards learning how to handle uncertainty in life. Ultimately, when you are mindful of your own feelings and reactions, you are ready to shift the mindset and grow.

Now let’s expand the mindset, instead of limiting it.

The bullsh$t excuses I listed earlier were extremely limiting and ones that kept me stuck in a very unhealthy cycle for many years. In the end, I was unhealthy both physically and mentally. I was ignoring the obvious and masking it with actions that made me feel safe from the uncertainty of life.

Today I challenge myself to become mindful when I notice my natural tendency to react a certain way and then expand my mindset to think of new ways to accept some uncertainty.

I’m training my brain to be okay with uncertainty, bit by bit. You can too.

This is step is scary and it brings up lots of uncomfortable emotions but I made the choice to accept those emotions in the short term so that I could help myself create a life I love. This is not a one-time action, it is a daily practice so that I can break those bad habits I was following mindlessly and create new healthy habits.

Let’s Recap

There are a few initial steps to learning how to handle uncertainty in life. I know that some of these won’t be easy to overcome, but those are the ones that will be most freeing and worthwhile.

Here are 5 steps to get you started (remember that judging yourself doesn’t help you, so don’t judge just learn from yourself):

Become mindful of the situations that make you feel uncertain.
Accept that you have an intolerance to uncertainty (the amount of intolerance is personal for your journey).
Take note of your reactions to uncertainty.
Notice your excuses for “being this way”.
Expand your mindset to accept a higher level of uncertainty, knowing that you will feel extremely uncomfortable in the short term.

Life is filled with uncertainty and this can either be scary or you can shift your mindset to think of it as an adventure. The mind is powerful and but you can control your feelings with your expanded thoughts. When I go on an amusement park ride, my first feeling is always fear. I would be frozen in fear and look over to my kids and see the fear on their faces. So I changed my reaction to joy. I would yell “woohoo” and smile and take in the experience fully. I noticed that the kids relaxed and were screaming joyously with me. Essentially we expanded our mindset to shift from fear of uncertainty to enjoying the adventure.

Are you going to choose the adventure of life?