A Scarlet Letter | A Divorce Message

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The scarlet letter typically means adulterer. There is a law of marriage whereby the wife scarred through divorce holds the burden of the blood lost within the murdered marriage, if she chooses to remarry to find and know love once more. The value and worth messaging held within the blood bond formed within the hand in marriage once lost in a murdered marital commitment, is wrapped around the wife not loved in the way God saw as possible for every hand in marriage. The shroud can be around either in this case, as the death of love within a marriage ultimately has a person walk away towards another love; often to find a love within themselves once more.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 5:25-28

If the husband isn’t willing to know what to sacrifice to honor his wife he isn’t honoring the marriage. If he doesn’t realize the blessing of a living water flowing within the marriage to help him nurture the love in growth, there is a desert harshness within the home. If he only sees shadow and negative aspects of his bride or blames her for his life challenges, he is lacking love within himself.

The bible also tells those in a marriage to respect the marriage and strive to fulfill the marital duty to each other, honor each other and to only withhold for prayer so the shadowed aspects of life don’t pile up causing separation, resulting in sexual immorality. This is why sexual immorality is not about sex.

The marriage commitment for a hand in marriage is sacred and God honors this commitment with His Love. When divorce happens, even if there isn’t a cheating spouse, the “A” turns into various awful names for the ex, that don’t bring awe to what was held in love during the marriage that was.

For many, the children raised in these broken homes feel the pull and damnations between the A’s involved in trying to work through the pain of a fracture of love. The inability to find the fluidity of trust and flow between them, and with Guidance to know how to build the fluidity of trust and flow within love, broke the love in design instead of forging it into a beautiful sculpture designed by their love together.

By law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man. Romans 7:2-3

I know this to be true, because my mother whom was within her second marriage, told me the moment she knew my dad had died. She knew the moment she was released from the law of marriage, in this way. There is an indemnification for all marriages ending in divorce, whereby everything will be done to help prevent a loss of life in direct relation to a tethered connection from a former marriage. No one can call a murder of ex, the act of God.

A Scarlet Letter

To whom needs to stop seeing the A in blazing red when they consider a former hand in marriage,

The blood you gave was an attempt to forge value into a life you saw as possible. You walked miles and tried. This is the scarlet value you forged together. The love you saw in those moments defined the love you accept as love. When one walks away from a love defined such as this they do so with mounds of baggage avoided and hard to unpack.

The hardship held within a distancing between love and yourself, then love between you and your chosen love started long before you realized it.

The rounds of beating yourself up, and the other tore apart and broke down the marriage. If you are honest you didn’t spend time breaking down the negative responses to life and why it was. The blame game became easier and fighting within overwhelm of lost love, washed away the marriage like a tsunami.

The scarlet held within the blood formed as one, became tainted and changed into a blazing red devalued version of yourself and whom was the one.

Whom a person becomes through the patterns of survival, fight, flight, and holding strong for a love desired within themselves to be seen by anyone becomes integrated into their very being. This is the tether between the wedded couple of the past. The version of love and what you saw in another is held in a grip of knowing you lost love before.

The bond holds the strength of the quietness and trust the love was formed as during the vows. It holds the forged love felt within those moments and all that became during the marriage.

It also holds the fractures of the forged opportunities, the broken love, and versions of love that became for yourself, your chosen, and the versions of yourselves within the marriage to each other. It holds the divorced parts of each of you, prior to becoming divorced. These are the raked moments held within the sexual immorality journey when love became separated. What’s left is a burden similar to a ball and chain.

As the fracture of the home changed the bond of marriage into a tether, it held the marriage contract within the burdens of life. The version of love within you, is held within whom you became and the way you navigated life. There is no quietness and trust held within hate for what became, but seeing it as your strength is gripping onto a false version of strength within you.

If you want to explore how to rise up and know how to breakdown what happened, this is the pathway.

What forged opportunities were changed and made to look like forged abundance?

How was life contaminated with shadowed aspects in choices, actions, and emotional responses?

What integrity journeys were missed in knowing value and worth for yourself and your chosen love?

How many moments of unforgiveness towards anything in life, got between you and your chosen love?

What was the true moment where you had an inability to know the true value of yourself and your chosen love?

Why was the quality or character devalued within your perception for your life together?

How was the value and worth of love diluted?

What was the medicine of choice prescribed for your life together?

What poisonous thoughts or ideas generated harm or messy situations?

Were there spinning stories of mistrust leading the paths towards destruction?

What shadows tainted love?

When did the fire forging potential in love, shift in degrees away from such, weakening the bond to fracture?

Warnings for those whom may be seeing the scarlet letter in their life…

After a marriage it can be easy to see a love as your salvation for love once more. It can also be easy to see aspects of your new chosen love, in ways that aren’t true to form. This over time, gnaws at your current chosen love, pulling at whom they are because they aren’t seen as themselves. The weights and burdens from the previous marriage and unforgiven relationships create a weighted perception of a person’s character, value, gifts, worthiness, and love received by them. They may have a higher version of a way of being, but you may only be able to receive through this weighted perception a version you can accept in lower form to be comfortable and worthy enough to receive. They may have a lower version of a way of being, you only see as higher because you need them to rise to be the knight or queen to your love ready to give to someone wanting to receive it.

Letting your chosen love be themselves and show you the love language they are able to express, is love. It isn’t conditional. It holds no expectations. Doing the same for whom they are in every way is also unconditional love within a journey of knowing the type of Love God shows each whom allow themselves to accept it through and for themselves.

The paths to navigate this adulterer or adulteress way of living, isn’t easy when you saw love held within the new relationship. You must know the holes that corrupted whom you could have been, so the patterns of what became don’t eat and corrode your love life any longer.

Can this bond that was forged in potential from the previous marriage be broken? It was with the divorce but spiritually it wasn’t. Spiritually it still held the battles, and shredded hearts for those part of the journey. The healing to know love in uplifted ways is possible if God see’s the journey as worthy. When healing for the hate, habits, and versions of divorced love of self, others, and love within that marriage and outside of it there is a chance you may begin seeing the value and worth of your ex in different light; one of love once more. It is also possible you may see them different than back then also, if you have uplifted love into a version you didn’t realize prior to the previous marriage.