Balance is a Must for Your Well-Being
Trying to maintain a balance between work, home, and our relationships is difficult and as mothers, we can frequently forget how balance is important to well-being. Our mental and physical well-being, our productivity in our work and home life, and the strength of our relationships depend on us maintaining balance.
Have you ever felt like if you didn’t keep going then everything would fall apart? Schedules wouldn’t happen at home, the house would be a disaster, work would get behind, and the kids…
Have you looked back on your week and watched yourself distanced from your family, distracted by what you thought at the time to be something more important? When was the last time you and your partner talked about something other than kids, work, or the house?
Have you ever felt emotionally drained, exhausted, or anxiety-ridden at times when you used to easily breeze through that situation? Have you wondered, how did it get this far?
As a mother, I understand the need to feel like a supermom. Be everything for everyone. As a working woman, I also understand the strain work deadlines and working relationships can do a person that is trying to do it all.
Balance is a requirement, to maintain your health and well-being. Here are few ways to help ensure you can maintain balance in your life.
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Set priorities
Setting priorities during your workday is probably natural to you. However, do you work toward your goals? Or are there priorities set higher for those that are screaming the loudest? Are meetings set during your most productive hours in the day?
As women, we want to help people. I get that because that is me. I had a hard time saying no at work. People would come to me and ask me to help, and the next thing I know I’m on too many teams, doing too much, and not being productive towards my own goals. [insert stress here] Setting priorities is a must at work if you want to stay productive and minimize undue stress.
In a home, setting priorities is simply complicated. You might think it isn’t. You might say,
The kids are my priority.
That’s true, but we all know what comes with that: birthdays, school events, extra-curricular activities, play dates, sick days, lunches, and endless forms to fill out. Then there is housework, meal prep, and what about your partner? What about your health?
How do you do it all, without losing your mind? Balance. Find the priorities that matter for each day. Pick your priorities, and be flexible on the rest. Find different solutions for getting the other stuff done.
Set boundaries
Do you bring work home? How about work email on your phone that you find yourself reading during the evening? Do you find yourself running everywhere and wondering why you pay a mortgage for a house you barely get to enjoy?
I’ve done all of these at one point or another, multiple times. Every single moment I thought it was the best decision at the time. But was it?
I look back now and realize that not setting work boundaries only delayed me from diligently enforcing the “set your priorities” at work. It also stole precious time away from building relationships with my kids and partner.
At home, are the kids’ schedules packed full of playdates, events, and extra-curricular activities? Do they have time to just be kids? Do you have time to be home, enjoying a meal, playing a game, or watching a movie?
It’s OK to say no to another extra-curricular activity and to say no to that event. It’s OK to set boundaries on how you spend your family’s time in the week. It is important to do this to maintain balance.
Delegate
Here’s a tough one. I know. Deep breathe. I know what you are thinking.
It won’t be done the way I do it!
You are possibly correct in that, but you can’t do it all! You need help. At work, at some point, you will need a team to pitch in so that you can be most productive on what you are good at. Let others help you.
At home, is the same situation. Did you know that the family can help you? They can pitch in on laundry and housework. They can help plan the meals for the week. The kids can make their own lunches for school.
I have to admit my house has never been the cleanest, and it is far from a magazine cover. I’m not thrilled about it, but I set my priorities and during our most busy years this had to be one of those things I had to be flexible on.
We are a team. A team that pitches in around the house. The kids are most helpful when they want friends over. The motivation works for them. My partner wears the suits to work and as such does his own ironing, and most of the time would do the laundry as well.
Everything little tasks help so that we have time for other priorities. It isn’t perfect, but it helps maintain balance.
Recognizing your emotions
It’s is extremely important to be sensitive to your emotions, understanding how you are feeling, and finding out why you feel that way. If you push your emotions aside and ignore them then they will tend to fester in other ways.
Frustrations at work are generally the result of processes not being followed or they are just inefficient. Taking time to find out the root cause of why these aren’t working will help you be more productive, saving you time and money.
Frustrations at home generally are for the same reason, there isn’t a set way of doing a task to keep the family organized during the chaos. Delegation is going to be harder and more stressful if the family doesn’t figure out a way to do something consistently.
It’s not all about frustrations though. We are human and have a wide range of emotions. While reading Warrior Goddess Training, I learned that writing in a journal allows me to reflect on the emotions of the day. It is a way to work through the baggage of the past and heal. It helps bring perspective to my emotions so I’m not keeping everything inside.
Being sensitive to how you are feeling, helps you make the changes that need to happen to bring balance to your life. Not taking the time to recognize those emotions could bring anxiety, depression, broken relationships, or work performance issues. Pause and reflect. It helps provide balance.
Manage your stress
Stress happens for many reasons, and it can kick our health and well-being sideways very quickly. It is important to find ways to manage the stress so that it doesn’t own you.
Finding ways to improve a situation, can help reduce stress. This isn’t always easy and can take time and energy that you may not feel you have, but it is worth it. Understanding where to focus your efforts has to be able to recognize your emotions, then taking action to sort through the situation.
Taking care of yourself and maintaining a healthy lifestyle is also important to manage stress. Don’t feed the stress with poor eating habits, because that will only drain your energy and increase your stress levels. Exercise is a way to manage the stress that will give you more energy to overcome day-to-day challenges.
It took me a while to find the exercise for me. I recommend finding a home program or gym that works with your schedule. Something that you enjoy, that makes you feel empowered. Don’t make excuses, because you are worth it.
Finding joy
Finding joy in small ways throughout the day is important to bring light to what might be a stressful situation. Look for something positive. Being around people that are negative all of the time will slowly affect your health and well-being.
I had a friend tell me about a group of couple friends of hers, that were close and supported one another. It was great in the beginning; it was positive, they did couple of things with each other, and had fun together. Until people started complaining about their partners to each other. It created negativity and affected relationships. It was shocking to see her couple of friends get divorced, one by one. Negativity is toxic.
Take time to reconnect with your kids, discovering their sense of humor, and laughing. Take time to reconnect with your partner. Get together with a group of ladies once a month to play a game, with one rule – no negative talk about the partners. Have fun!
Quiet time
I spent a year following Simple Abundance – A Daybook of Comfort and Joy. It helped me reflect on finding joy in small ways, finding ways to take a pause and enjoy life. One of the nuggets from the book was to create a space that will allow you to “stop the world from spinning, and get off”.
I discovered that it was important to take time to pause and reflect. It is important to find ways to relax and feel safe. It is important to hear nothing but quiet, peace.
On the commute home, after a busy workday, I would shut my car radio off and just enjoy the quiet. Nobody asking anything, nobody talking, no stress. Just quiet.
I repeat this process when I can in the evenings after the kids are asleep. I’ll read a book, write in a journal, and just press pause.
In my journey for balance, I discovered something that I didn’t really expect. I did this to be a better mom, and to enjoy my life more. I did this to live longer because my health wasn’t great and it gave me a scare. What I didn’t expect was how that turned into a positive influence for my kids.
As they grew older they would encourage me to go to the gym and would ask for those healthier meal options we had introduced to them. They would use these techniques to get through their own stress as teens.
Balance is important to well-being. As a mom, I know that it is hard to put yourself on the list of priorities, but is a requirement. Take time to nurture those relationships that bring joy into your life. Most of all take care of yourself: take time to find joy in life, find that quiet time to just be, don’t beat yourself up, lift yourself up by living a healthy life – a balanced life.
WANT TO REMEMBER THIS? SAVE THIS REMINDER TO CREATE BALANCE TO YOUR FAVORITE PINTEREST BOARD!