How Practicing Mindfulness Changed My Life

I was stuck in the mad rush of life. Work, pick up kids, make dinner (or go through the drive-thru), take the kids to activities, home to prepare for the next day…rinse, repeat. I was drained, grouchy, and stressed. Life sucked for me and my family because I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t do it all. Let me tell you how practicing mindfulness changed my life.

After all, I had it all: a loving husband, kids (two at the time and now three), a home, a career I loved. Life should be good, right?

I know, first-world problems.

The problem was I wasn’t happy and my family was miserable because they didn’t know why I was so unhappy. It wasn’t their fault. They loved me. I just wasn’t happy and my frustration on why this was happening was taken out on them. SO.NOT.FAIR.

I decided to do something because I needed to stop yelling at the kids all the time, and I needed to stop pushing my husband away. My health needed some serious attention and so did my marriage. It was a “get your shit together before you lose it all” personal cry for help. Where to start? This is where I’ll walk you through my journey so that you can maybe start your own.

How Practicing Mindfulness Changed My Life

When I sat down to work through why I wasn’t happy and why life, in general, sucked for me, I used my Industrial Engineering training to get to the root of the issues. I’m a Root Cause Ninja and ninja’d my own butt to figure out why I was acting the way I was. (Today I combine those Root Cause Ninja skills with my Life Coaching to guide my clients along their own personal journey.)

Back then when I looked deep within myself, I discovered that it wasn’t about what was happening around me that frustrated me. Work-life balance didn’t exist in my own life.

I craved personal relationships with my kids and my husband but wasn’t taking the time to nurture them.

I craved time to relax and decompress between work and home. (this was hard to do but I figured out small ways)

My busy mom brain needed to stop running. It needed rest, preferably before I lost my mind or my family or both!

My only solution at the time was to start practicing mindfulness. I didn’t know what I was doing was called mindfulness, but I did it anyway. The natural Root Cause Ninja in me demanded to know what was going on with me. It needed more data (hello, Engineer here! – data is our friend lol).

My Personal Journey with Mindfulness

I started looking at my personal feelings daily and then asking myself why I felt that way. I didn’t keep a journal but in hindsight, this would have been extremely helpful.

What I discovered was life-changing.

The first honest realization – I was Queen of Multitasking.

Multitasking became a source of pride for me and one that was my ultimate downfall. Multitasking affected my health, my relationships, and was starting to affect my career. By multitasking I was training my brain to always be on alert, always stay active, always flit from one activity to another. I was training my brain to never rest and become unable to focus completely on one activity at a time.

This resulted in me having unfulfilling relationships with my kids and my husband. I wasn’t present in their lives. I was there in the room but didn’t connect completely with them.

At night when I would try to relax before bed, I’d be doing more than one activity because I had to stay busy. Then when I went to bed I was so exhausted that connecting with my husband intimately was the last thing I wanted. This self-induced stress was killing the libido.

This is how practicing mindfulness changed my life. I actively focused my energy on one thing at a time and it became easier to be more present in my daily interactions with others and myself.

My relationships grew stronger with my kids and my husband. Another benefit to mindfulness was being able to catch hints of emotional turmoil each of our teens experienced as they grew up. Most of those times, they didn’t want to bother me with their problems but because I saw the flash of emotion flit across their face and I was able to root cause ninja them into sharing.

How to Get Started in Practicing Mindfulness

Practicing mindfulness isn’t easy when we live in a world that is filled with bombarding noise. Music that is constantly on or the TV (not to mention the kids being kids). The long list of must-do’s that when you really look at them are more minor in the big picture.

When you are caught in this whirlwind life it is overwhelming. It’s hard to see what we’ve accomplished. It’s hard to notice the tiny look of emotion that flits across your loved one’s face that doesn’t feel like they can come to you because “you’re busy”. When it comes to self-care, it’s hard to notice that you aren’t taking care of yourself until your body and brain say “enough is enough”.

But all is not lost. You can practice being more mindful and the more you practice the better you get at it. How do I know? I know because I was able to do it and, remember, I was Queen of Multitasking.

Start Your Mindfulness Journey

Let’s try two of these this week. Pick two that you can integrate into your life and see how it changes your interactions with people in your life, your mental health, and your productivity throughout your day.

While driving to work or while driving to do an errand, leave the car radio off, and let the silence rest your brain. The feel of the vehicle as it moves along the road, the feel of the steering wheel under your hands, the sounds of the wipers methodically clearing the windshield.
While doing dishes take notice of the temperature of the water on your hands, the curves of the dishes, and the smooth textures as you wash them. Listen to the sounds of the water as it moves around the sink.
Take a walk and don’t listen to anything, nothing. Just take in nature around you (yes even in the city). Look around at what’s around you, finding beauty in the small healing nature of nature.
If you have a favorite park or spot to sit, go there and just sit and observe in silence.
On your coffee break (yes take one of those this week – it’s very hyggelig), sit quietly without your phone. Take notice of how you are sitting and the feel of the chair under you. Stretch and feel your body start to relax under the movement.
Give someone a hug (with their permission – don’t get creepy people!). Don’t think about all the things that you need to do after that hug, just be in that moment enjoying that connection with the person.
Mindfully eat a snack (a healthy one that you enjoy). Take in the flavor of the food, its texture of it, and its aroma of it.
Mindful breathing for a minute. Think of a box. As you follow the outline of the square, take a deep breath in for one side, hold for another, breathe out for the third, and hold for the fourth. Repeat for the minute. If you find your mind wandering trace the square on a surface by yourself to help you focus on the activity.

Final Thoughts

It’s my hope that by reading how practicing mindfulness changed my life, you will be inspired to start practicing it as well. When we are learning to practice mindfulness we are giving our mind time to heal, time to rest, and the space to see little details we miss amongst the clutter of everyday life.

In a world where this is never-ending interaction when we learn to clear the clutter in our minds and become more mindful of our surroundings, we are finally able to slow life down to enjoy it. We become more productive in our day because we aren’t as easily distracted. We have stronger relationships because we are having valued interactions instead of distracting ones. Our mental health starts to empower us to know how to find balance when we need it the most.