Being a Control Freak Affects Your Work-Life Balance

If you are struggling with finding a work-life balance then you might just be a control freak. Don’t worry though, you aren’t alone and it’s natural for you to want control. The downside is that being a control freak affects your work-life balance. In this article, you’ll discover if you are a control freak, how being one affects your work-life balance, and how to be less of one towards others.

I’m going, to be honest with you. I am a control freak and have been for many years.

I am also a control freak that is constantly learning to be less controlling of others so I can create a life I love, have better relationships, be successful within a team and live with more work-life balance. Gaining some work-life balance was the purpose of starting this journey. What I gained practicing it was beyond my expectations and can be found in my final thoughts down below.

Signs You are a Control Freak

When you look at the list below, is this you? Do you relate to any one of these or all of these? If you do, that’s okay because there’s a path forward and you aren’t alone.

Delegation isn’t an option, because no one can do it the “right” way. Do you micromanage others? Are you constantly criticizing their work?
Your schedule or timeline is more important than someone else’s. Are you stressed and moody if something doesn’t go as planned?
You’re a Perfectionist. Do you have a fear of not looking like you have it all together and looking like you aren’t “successful”?
Do you know the perfect person that needs this article and you feel the urge to send it to them? That might be true and feel free to share. However remember that you can’t change others and feeling the need to change others is controlling, so keep reading for yourself too.

Being a Control Freak Affects Your Work-Life Balance

There are many, many side effects of being a control freak and many of them affect your relationships, career, home life, and your health. When you let your need to control others and the situations around you consume your life, an imbalance is inevitable.

The side effects of being a control freak:

You are constantly having to do everything yourself. The list is endless and is never complete.
You are moody, stressed, exhausted, and your health is suffering.
Your relationships with your spouse and kids are strained. Your coworkers don’t want to be around you.
You are constantly nagging at others or complaining that you have to do everything yourself.
Others are left feeling like they can’t do anything “right” so why bother trying to help, they will just fail anyway.
Life sucks, your career suffers and you are having trouble finding happiness.

The hard truth is when you are trying to control others, you teach them that teamwork isn’t valuable to you. You teach them they can’t do anything “right”. The end result is you are left doing it all.

Is this the message you want to leave with your loved ones? Is this how you want your kids to feel about themselves or how you want your kids to value teamwork? The good news is you can figure out how to be less of a control freak towards others.

How to be Less of a Control Freak Towards Others

Let’s be honest. You can’t just magically flip a switch and stop being a control freak. However, you can learn how to be less of a control freak towards others and start creating a work-life balance that works for you.

Science supports our need to control. Our brain loves the feeling of control and having control stimulates dopamine, and when you are losing control that stimulates cortisol. Cortisol triggers the feeling of being threatened, fear of getting lost or something going bad.

So what if we decide to let go of expectations?

What if we decide to be more carefree?

Will this solve our problem of being the control freak?

There is a catch 22 in this thinking. When we start to think we will lose control our brain feels threatened. It thinks you won’t be meeting your goals or you won’t be perceived as being the perfect wife, mother, employee, or leader.

However, the truth is when we need to control others, we are really lacking control of our inner selves. We are lacking control of how we are reacting, how we are communicating, or how we are feeling.

What if you used science to your advantage and improved your internal control instead of choosing to control others? Then the dopamine your brain craves is released and you have a win-win!

The Steps for How to be Less of a Control Freak Towards Others:

Accept your need to control, but know that you can change it to better your life by controlling your thoughts and actions. Denying that you are a control freak or trying to hide it doesn’t help anyone, least of all yourself. Why not use that dark side of you to help you control your own thoughts and actions. Flip the script!
Use Body language to gain confidence that you will use to gain your inner control again. Breaking the chains of bad habits is hard but I know you can do it! Psychologist, Amy Cuddy, did a Ted Talk about body language and how it can give you confidence in situations.

Take a look at your body language when you feel out of control. Before you react to the situation, I want you to take a moment to give yourself a pep-talk by doing a power pose in private (even stand like Wonder Woman for two minutes). Gain some confidence that you can control your inner self, how you react, and what you are going to choose to do at that moment.
Label how you are feeling. When you label the feeling you can start to dig into why you are feeling that way and start asking yourself these questions. What triggered it? Why am I feeling this way? Is this really worth getting upset about? What can be done to move me to the big goal – more work-life balance?
Learn when to let go. Learn from each opportunity. Make a choice to either let it go or not, know when to avoid the triggers, and create routines to help you avoid them (routines are good for you). Some things are not worth getting upset over. Ask yourself if there more important life goals that you are trying to achieve? If so then focus on those and let the little petty things slide.

Is having complete control of everything worth it when everyone around you is miserable? Would figuring out delegation works for home and the office help improve work-life balance?

Final Thoughts

Learning how to be less of a control freak towards others is a lifelong journey but worth it when you can regain healthy relationships, have less stress, and more work-life balance. The end result is you creating a life you love and being less of a control freak towards others. The bonus is you being able to teach your kids empathy, teamwork, and how they too can improve life bit by bit with small changes within themselves.