Embrace Your Journey and Throw Paint

This is a story of a woman that was hiding from not only the world but from herself as well. It is a story of a woman that learned to look outside herself and made things harder than she needed to. This is a story of a woman that gave herself space to explore what was holding her back from her life goals and found something extraordinarily wonderful; she found herself. The purpose of this story is to encourage you to embrace your journey and throw paint.

Let’s begin.

There once was a little girl that dreamed of so much, but somewhere along the way she limited those dreams. She explored but was careful to not expect too much.

This little girl experienced many things growing up and felt it deeply. All of these feelings created patterns within her life that kept her safe, to help her survive with as little damage as possible to her spirit. She adapted and grew into a woman, using those skills and patterns to help her become the woman she was.

Until she was called to do more and she was lost at how to do that.

So she looked for answers.

Desperately seeking for a direction, for the knowledge, for the truth of what she was meant to do on this Earth.

She wanted to embrace her journey, yet she didn’t know what that journey looked like and it terrified her.

Following the Path Blindly

She started down her path, thinking she had her eyes wide open; looking to others to find direction. She followed their advice and found her voice again slowly. Yet as she continued down this path she couldn’t see a direction that made sense, that felt right to her.

The advice she found continued to tell her to “throw spaghetti and you will find something that sticks”.

She did, all with eyes looking around her, trying different paths.

Until one day she fell down and surrendered to the possibility she was following the path blindly and that the answers to her purpose were somewhere within herself.

Looking Within Herself

It took courage to look within herself, she knew that going in, but she didn’t know how much courage she would need to get to the root of it all. To get to the root of what was holding her back she needed to trust the messages that she was being shown about herself. She needed to give herself space and grace to mindfully reflect on her past and the patterns it created within her.

With guided help along this part of her journey, she knew she had the support she needed to enter into this experience with the courage and grace she needed to finally transform into the person calling for her. Yet she did this with shaking legs and the fear in her chest overwhelmed her at times.

She discovered that her brain had created an illusion of most of the experiences she endured growing up, minimize them so she could survive. Abandonment, mental abuse, emotional abuse, and physical abuse were made to feel insignificant, and patterns were created to help her read the energy of people to try and keep her safe.

She became a master at adjusting to who she needed to be around different people. She relied on this gift so she could survive. If situations were new, she blamed her “introverted ways” because this gave her an excuse to not go and do the unknown.

She was coloring within the lines, allowing these patterns to feed her anxiety slowly over the years. Training her to manage her reactions and actions to stay safe and be small, to not take up space.

It was all a pattern that was shown to her when she looked within, asking what was holding her back from finally stepping into her purpose.

Previous steel walls became transparent as she saw with clear eyes the old patterns holding her back. Yet the walls didn’t come down.

Surrendering to Insecurity

It didn’t matter how many actions she took to change old patterns, her brain still convinced her that life was too risky for the path she finally saw in front of her. As she continued looking within and being guided along this journey, she discovered the final chords of truth.

The first was her need for security, her need to be safe, which was holding her back from truly stepping forward. She needed to hold onto some control, yet it was stopping her from aligning with her true self.

The victim in her held on tight to these walls. The transparent box surrounding her exposed her yet it still kept her secure; it allowed her to control something. After deep reflection, she realized that she was holding onto things that no longer mattered to her.

Releasing the control she surrendered to insecurity and the walls came down, shattering into pieces.

What will be, will be.

The sound of shattering glass was a tone of truth that resonated through her being. Releasing the artist in her, waiting to emerge from grace and understanding.

She was no longer “throwing spaghetti”, instead she was throwing paint – creating abstract art that will become her masterpiece of life.

Embrace Your Journey and Throw Paint

I want to encourage you to give yourself space and the grace to embrace your journey. It will take courage but I’m here to guide you if you will accept this journey. The story I shared with you is my own personal journey that I’ve emerged from. I know what it is like to have deeply rooted fear holding you back from a purpose that is bigger than you can possibly imagine. Even as I write this I am shaking, but I am also comforted by the knowledge of this one message sent to me.

Anytime I’m frozen in fear because I’m living bigger, I will be reminded to just throw paint because I am creating art. This shifts the mindset from making a mess to creating beauty, wonder, and amazement. The bottom line is this stop coloring in the lines, embrace your journey, throw paint, and create your masterpiece. If you do that you can’t fail.

How do I know this?

The only way to fuck up abstract art is by coloring in the lines.