The Power of Leaning Into Fear

Fear can be many things for different people. For me, it presented itself as a mask I wore for fear of rejection. It was the schedules I kept for fear of uncertainty. It was the procrastination I enabled to avoid letting the real me be me; to ultimately please other people first. There are so many more, but I’m sure you get the point. I’ve learned over the years that fear never goes away but we can learn to tap into the fear and use its energy to move through it faster. Tap into the power of leaning into fear and bust through barriers!

For many years I hid behind many masks, trying to fit into the world around me. I wasn’t happy and I forgot who I was. I ignored the real me and traded that for someone I didn’t recognize anymore.

It was confusing.

It was scary.

AND my anxiety was at an all-time high all.the.time.

I couldn’t figure out how to bring a work-life balance in my life because I didn’t know who I was anymore. So I had to dig in and rediscover the real me. I needed to align with my unique self and start to love myself so I could finally figure out how to bring more balance in my life. No cookie-cutter work-life balance solutions were working, because I’m unique. AND that is the same for you. What works for me is not the same solution for your work-life balance. That is why I created the Alignment Resources, packed full of valuable resources to help you find harmony within yourself.

The Science Behind the Fear

Don’t worry, this isn’t a full science lesson…just some facts to help you.

Your brain has a built-in power source that’s sole purpose is to tell us how to feel. It’s natural and it has worked that way since the beginning of time. It has protected the caveman since the beginning of time and it protects you today.

How does it work?

Well, when you are in any situation the brain needs to tell you how to feel about it. However, when the brain doesn’t have any basis for sending that feeling, it sends fear to protect us from the unknown (completely natural). When this happens we tend to rationalize through the situation. The bonus lesson here is as humans we can choose if we are going to accept the fear or not. (key point here…)

Then there is the flip-side for when your brain knows something triggers our fear, it has no doubt whatsoever then. In comes the fear and then we naturally react to that feeling and do what we always do. We use our safety strategy.

What’s a safety strategy?

A safety strategy is a natural reaction you have when something triggers your fear, worry, or anxiety. For me, some of my fears come from intolerance to uncertainty in life, one I continue to manage daily. I developed this over the years and it started when I was a child.

It started with the uncertainty of not knowing if I would get to see my father during his assigned weekend visits. Ah, the joy of having divorced parents (lol)…

Then it slowly grew into other areas of my life.

For some areas, I tapped into the power of my fears. Like when I was an average student and used the power of my fears, to light a fire in me to figure out how I needed to study to get the grades for the honor roll.

As an adult, my intolerance to uncertainty has driven me to schedule everything (including vacations). My safety strategy of not knowing what could happen was to control it using a schedule. I told myself that I was a Type A personality and this was normal. I told myself that I was preventing bored children and a resulting “lose my shit” moment. There were so many excuses…

The truth of the matter was my brain was telling me there was uncertainty and I needed to do something to control the situation, so I did and then my brain was told that the feeling of fear was correct. Each time I used my safety strategy I confirmed that I should have fear, worry, or anxiety for that situation.

AND it became a whirlwind mess that was easier and easier to fall into the same harmful pattern.

It was a cycle.

Trigger – feeling of fear, worry, anxiety – safety strategy – confirmation of fear, worry, anxiety (repeat)

My perfectionism feeds my anxiety and my people-pleasing sucked the life out of me for years. All of the fears, worries, and anxiety trigger safety strategies that have put me through a phenomenal self-rediscovery of myself that I wouldn’t change a bit.

What if you could tap into the power of leaning into fear, turbo boost your life goals, and blast through those barriers challenging your success? How would your life change? What could your new life story look like?

The Power of Leaning into Fear

I used to think that you had to push fear away to overcome it. Then I’d get upset about old issues coming back to the surface; ones that I had long worked through. But had I worked through them?

I started the journey of releasing them, but the years of safety strategies that I created to protect myself are still being discovered and reframed to allow me to be me. The difference between then and now is the length of time I need to process through them is much shorter.

Just recently, I was telling my coach (yes, even a coach needs a coach) about a business decision I was struggling with. I didn’t know if I should do A or B. She had me work through an exercise and it became very clear that my initial choice of A was safe, but B was bringing up fear.

Remember when I said earlier that we have the ability to choose another way? This is what I did…

I tossed my normal safety strategy aside and chose to tap into the power of leaning into fear. I wanted to see why option B was bringing up fear.

By leaning into the fear I discovered that by choosing option B, I would be entering into some uncertainty, but I was also revealing to the world my super-power.

Ah Ha!

There it was!

By choosing option A initially, the flow of words wasn’t coming. They felt off, and not me…I would now describe them as fake because that was the old me.

Instead, I made a choice to go with option B and used the energy I was feeling to boost my action forward. When I tapped into the power of leaning into fear, the words I had been searching for were there for me, and the answers I had been asking for were waiting for me. As I used that power to complete that task, I felt energized and my mind continued to open up, expanding with new opportunities for growth. Ultimately the power of leaning into fear gave me clarity and further alignment with my true self.

Before, when I choose the safety strategy I closed any opportunity for growth. I would give in to the fear and let it take my power. If I can do this so can you. One step at a time, bit by bit. Which option will you choose: your safety strategy or the power of leaning into your fear?

Will you use the power of leaning into fear today?