How to Help Teens with Back-to-school Anxiety

Parenting a teen can be hard sometimes. Understanding how to help teens with back-to-school anxiety teaches mindfulness and opens communication within the family.

There are a few steps we have used over the years to help coach our teens through their back-t0-school anxiety. Starting a new school is never easy and when you are a teen going through hormonal changes everything can seem overwhelming.

I didn’t think I was going to be prepared for the teen years, but I found myself more prepared than I thought. I attribute that to having children that hated change most of their lives.

We started coaching them through small bouts of anxiety when they were little, which helped us as parents as they reached their teen years. However, their added hormones had me check my own sanity a few times over the years.

I can be grateful for the unplanned age difference between my three kids because their hormone swings didn’t always overlap. If you are not so lucky, then my heart goes out to you. Stay strong and reach out to me. I’ll lend an ear and give you a virtual comforting drink anytime you want.

The school year doesn’t start for a couple of weeks here, but we have already had a few discussions about anxiety and how to prepare for the upcoming school year. Here are the steps that I follow when I figured out how to help teens with back-to-school anxiety.

Recognize the signs for your child. Anything that seems out of the norm for your child: mood changes, physical symptoms (panic attacks, appetite changes, changes to sleep patterns), or changes with friendships or how they are interacting with the family.
Have a heart-to-heart. Communication is the key to understanding how they are feeling. Start with what you have noticed different about them. Ask how they have been feeling. Dig into the feelings a bit, by asking specifically about how they are feeling about school. Be honest about how going back-t0-school can be overwhelming and can make a person feel anxious. Wait for them to process their feelings and sit through the quiet moments patiently. This is important.
Never say “It’ll be okay.”. This minimizes how they are feeling and will only make it harder to find ways to help them sort through their feelings.
Discuss what might be causing the anxiety. Why are they feeling that way? Is it linked to something they struggled with the previous year? Or maybe it is a transition year into a new school and they are nervous about getting lost and being disorganized.
Brainstorm ways to help them be organized so that there will be less chaos to worry about. (grab the Free Teen School To-Do Checklist that helps my daughter stay organized in Junior High – at the end of this article)
Discuss with them how overcommitments can cause overwhelm and find ways to simplify their schedule.
Brainstorm ways to help them calm their busy brains when they start to feel overwhelmed, such as a breathing technique (the 4-7-8 method works well). Have them practice with you so they will feel comfortable do it themselves. You will need to remind them of this method during an episode once in a while, so they learn to be more mindful of how they are feeling. As they become more mindful of themselves they will be able to calm themselves before it gets out of control.
Be honest with them. Feeling like you have to do everything and handle everything yourself sucks and can add to the anxiety. Let them know that you are here to help them find ways to get through whatever they are going through. Even if it is just to listen as they vent about the teen drama that happened that day.
If the anxiety continues to get worse and you don’t think you are equipped to help your child, then reach out for help. Seek professional advice and find someone to help your child and your family, as you go through this time.

Preparing for Back-to-School

We’ve been preparing for back-to-school for a couple of weeks already, getting back into routines and having discussions about new routines that might help with organization.

Our daughter approached me the other morning asking about her schedule wanted to discuss her extra-curricular activities. I asked what was on her mind and found that she was feeling overwhelmed thinking about her potential commitments for the year.

We had a quick discussion about not over-scheduling her so that she could focus on what was important. Unfortunately, she had to make some hard decisions this year about her schedule.

We didn’t force her to simplify the schedule but we didn’t highlight how she was feeling just thinking about the upcoming year, and she conceded that having less on her plate was going to be less overwhelming.

As a parent of teens or pre-teens, it is helpful to know how to help teens with back-to-school anxiety. Anxiety is a serious chronic condition for many adults and teens. We were able to use these techniques to help our teens manage their anxiety before it got out of control.

As I’ve learned to become more mindful I’ve been able to pick up their possible anxiety quicker. Starting with a heart-to-heart conversation is common for us so we can help find ways to help them, then we’ll help them brainstorm possible solutions to simplify their life. Keeping the door open for communication without judgment is important.

Do you have a teen going through back-to-school anxiety?